"Louise", but she isn't thinking about you. Why? because there isn't any real reason why she should. That phoney feeling is inside of you, and she doesn't share it. Immature people, who have been torn by these emotional sprees, have made serious mistakes. Some of them have imagined that they were suffering from "unrequited love" . . . but the sad part of it is, that there simply was no love of any kind involved. Because this selfish fixation is not love. It isn't even admiration. Basically, it is a form of self-love, perhaps; but this is only a name for selfishness of the first order! Far from the values of love; which is, in its very essence, an outgiving a pouring forth from self. A distribution of self. Usually too, our attraction to these "Louises" in our lives, lies in the physical realm. Our "Louises" always seem to resemble someone we once loved, or someone we would like to love. Sometimes we never even speak to these people; we know them so little. Why can't we stand off at a distance from our pettiness and laugh at ourselves. We should. All right. It isn't really funny, is it? When she walks through the room, your heart comes up in your throat and chokes you. When her eyes meet yours, you melt inside; and when she smiles at you (if she ever does), you are ready for the gates of heaven to swing wide, because you are certain that you have just seen an angel. Well, the sad fact is, that you aren't . . . and you haven't! What you saw was a simple human being, and you clothed her with golden glory, out of the depths of your vivid imagination!

No solution? Oh yes, there is a solution, a very definite solution. Begin by really loving your "Louise." Include her in your "this-is-wonderful" feeling that you may have on a good day, when you are feeling tops, and at peace with the world. Start being glad for her, and about her. Stop mooning! Love her! Rejoice in her. Be glad that she's happy . . . (without you)! Be glad that she's got a boy friend! (The supreme test of your sincerity.) Be glad she's living a heterosexual life; be happy for her, that she can get married and have babies! Wish her happiness, in your mind, whenever you think of her. Don't stare at her with a stupid expression of frustration in your eyes; don't look at her with longing. Smile at her. And, above all, bless her! Wish for her, the very, very best that you can imagine, regardless of whether or not this may include falling in love with you! Bless her, and desire her happiness above your own, and then, with your miserable little heart full of REAL love for her, you'll find your release from the selfish emotional wild-horse that has been tormenting you. You certainly can't lose anything . . . because you had nothing to begin with, except an emotional storm, raging within you. Replace it with a blessing, and you will find your freedom... and perhaps, even a new friend. Who knows?

Well, I seem to have repeated the things that I've told you many times before, Jo. Anyway, I wish you'd hurry home. I guess I've got all my emotional wildhorses centered on you now. Okay?

Love,

Jay.

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